I like you, you're different.

yaay, survey

2009-03-12T19:46:00.000-07:00

Your Firsts

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
K.Truong

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
I'm not sure what your definition of "love" is, so maybe?

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
Henessey

4. What was your FIRST job?
tutor

5. What was your FIRST car?
non applicable

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
I don't get text messages. :(

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
...I don't know?

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Mrs. Lorrie Borke. :)

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
SFO

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
Mallorie Blodget. no. :(

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
...i don't remember.

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
...i don't remember. haha.

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
...i don't remember. there were a lot that i went to.

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
brush my teeth.

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
...i don't remember. oh wow. ahhaah

16. What was the FIRST record/tape/CD you bought?
...i don't remember, either.

17. FIRST hospitalization?
uhm. i went to the ER when i fractured my wrist after attempting this silly (but EPIC!) jump with my rollerblades. :)

18. FIRST foreign country you've been to?
Taiwan?

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
LION KING!

20. When was your FIRST detention?
...i don't remember, i think i either weasled my way out of things or was never caught?

21. Where did you FIRST meet your spouse/partner now?
my dreams. :)

22. Who was your FIRST roommate?
never had one.

23. What did you do with your FIRST paycheck?
saved it. ...for like 2 minutes. then i shopped. ahha.

24. Your FIRST social networking site?
neopets, if applicable.

25. Who FIRST invited you to Facebook?
my brother forbade me to join it. clearly an invitation.

-----------------------

First thing you wash in the shower?
my arms (with body scrub)

What color is your favorite hoodie?
the hoodie i like most right now is my WUFO hoodie B) because i am a baller.

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
sure.

Do you plan outfits?
it just kinda works out.

How are you feeling RIGHT now?
unproductive. and slightly perturbed.

Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
blackberry pearl. :)

Do you say aim or a-i-m?
aim. as in, "ready, aim, fire." (:

Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
uhm, someone glowered/sulked at me and said "you forgot." then walked past me, which made me turn to try to talk to them, only to have me end up falling off my bed because i had rolled/turned in that direction. sad day.

Did you meet anybody new today?
yes, i think. i don't remember.

What are you craving right now?
green bean sprouts.

Do you floss?
rarely.

What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
...and egg soup. so good and warmmmmmm.

When was the last time you talked on aim?
2 or 3 days ago?

Are you emotional?
i have emotions and feelings, so yes...duh?

Would you dance to the taco song?
maybe. :)

Have you ever counted to 1,000?
yeah, it was a dumb 2nd grade experience.

Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
lick!

Do you like your hair?
sure i do. (:

Do you like yourself
most of the time.

Have you ever met a celebrity?
dude, i AM a celebrity. B)

Do you like cottage cheese?
sometimes

What are you listening to right now?
P.Mertz awesome remix song!

Are your parents strict?
they are asian.

Would you go sky diving?
uhm....i'm not sure.

Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
MY PRINCESS TIARA CROWN! <3

Do you rent movies often?
no.

Have you made a prank phone call?
yes. they are incredible. :)

Can you count backwards from 74?
uh huh.

Brown or white eggs?
dude, I don't judge by colors. B)

Do you own something from Hot Topic?
no. eww.

Ever been on a train?
yes.

Ever been in love?
i think so. even if it was very brief. :)

Do you have a cell-phone?
yes.

Are you too forgiving?
more like i forget that i'm supposed to be angry/vengeful.

Do you use chap stick?
tous les temps.

What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
whatever they feel that they need to do.

Can you use chop sticks
duh.

Ever have cream puffs?
beard papa's! <3

Is your hair curly?
slightly

Last time you cried?
secret. (:

Ever walked into a wall?
yes. shut up.

Do looks matter?
to some extent, yes. but if i like you, you are more attractive.

Have you ever slapped someone?
yes.

Favorite time of the year?
those special times in the year when the shops put on the signs that spell: S-A-L-E. :)

Favorite color?
tungsten grey. eat your heart out.

Are you sarcastic?
i can be. (:

The last person you held hands with?
i don't remember. i'm at that point in my life where it's not that significant to register into my brain.

Where was your default picture taken at?
in san jose. :( (homesickness...aaahhhh.)

Do you like your life right now?
exams. it needs to fast forward to 1 more week. :D (spring break!)

How often do you talk on the phone?
at least one long conversation once a week.

Do you have good vision?
HA. shut up.

Could you ever forgive a cheater?
as in cheating on tests? not really. but pretty much never for relationship cheaters.

Do you have a job?
yep. (:

Have you ever crawled through a window?
yeah. when i locked myself out of my own house. hahaha.

Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?
aside from the guy who kissed me, i don't think so?

When you're walking, do you stop to drink?
no, i'm not a retard.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it?
yes.

Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle?
no(t yet).

Ever snuck out of your house?
hush.

Kill or Be killed?
i'm a pacifist.

Break someone’s heart or have your heart broken?
the first is definitely easier, but i don't like being a bitch, so i guess i'd prefer being martyrized for having my heart broken?

What did you do today?
PREVENT THE WORLD FROM SELF-DESTRUCTION!

Do you like someone right this second?
maybe. :)

Would you ever get a tattoo?
i've considered it, and then decided i wouldn't know what to get or where to put it.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
i'm a nice person. :)

Do you snore?
yes. my nasal passage way sucks balls.

Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?
i don't really care. it's their business.

What would you do if you opened up your front door to a dead body?
poke it.

Are you talking to anyone while doing this?
poking the body? well i'd call the police or someone.

Do you want a relationship right now?
i don't know. that depends on the person and what kind of relationship it is.

Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't?
...no?

Your name plus "ness"?
...NO.

Three feelings at the moment?
sleepy, tired. apathetic.

Done anything you regret so far in life?
plenty.

Where are you right now?
on the moon!

What are you scared of?
failure. disaster. abandonment. disappointing others.

Last song you sang out loud?
SAY MY NAME SAY MY NAME! :D

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
uh. roop. :)

Last thing you downloaded on your computer?
porn! no, just kidding, it was a chem problem set solution guide.

Have you changed much this year?
yeah. and, overall, i feel like it's for the better.

Do you speak any other language?
private-joke language, innuendos, vietnamese, flattery, and some horrible french

What's the craziest thing you've done?
i can't tell you, it's just too amazing. it does involve a laptop and a song from the lonely island. (:

What are you looking forward to this summer?
baller-ness and legend-mode of epic proportions

Last time you smiled?
right now.

Have your parents ever caught you drinking?
they bought drinks for me. ahhah.

Do you love the last boy/girl you were talking to?
anna? yeah, she has a special place. :) <3

Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
everyone says it, i don't remember.

What do you spend most of your money on?
clothes. food.

Is there a secret you've never told your parents?
pffft. haaa. :)

Have you ever dyed your hair?
yeah. it was kinda dumb.

Are you wearing a necklace?
yyyyeeeeuppp.

What's something that can always make you feel better?
a good, heart-warming hug.

How's your heart lately?
beating the shit out of my RBCs! (...i don't think that's correct)

Are you a cuddler?
uhm. i like having someone's presence, but i'll never publicly admit this. ahha. (:

Will this weekend be a good one?
i hope so.

Who can always cheer you up?
strangers.

Have you ever gone nude/streaked in public?
no.

Who hugged you last?
p.mertzilla!

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
plenty. (:

What is your relationship status?
"complicated" with sehoon park. ahha (:

Who was the last person to come to your house?
either jonas or kent?

Look behind you, what do you see?
my shoes.

How many rooms does your house have?
many.

Whats on your schedule for tomorrow?
baller-ness.

The last song you heard?
brooklyn girls by charles hamilton.

When is the next time you'll hit up a club?
there are no clubs in humble hicktown williamstown.

How do you feel about abortions?
it's not really my place to judge others. if abortions are the best option in that circumstance, go for it. i really don't care.

Describe your best friend?
yes.

Who was the last person to touch you?
anna. well, more like i touched her.

How late did you stay up last night and why?
late.

What's the connection between you and the last person you texted?
i don't have texting.

Do you know anyone that is currently locked up?
i don't understand what you mean by "locked up"

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
god, no.

Have you ever been so drunk that you passed out?
/nods.

Do you think that you’re a good person?
yes.

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?
sure.

Are you happier single or in a relationship?
depends on the nature of singlehood or relationship-dom.

Have you ever flirted with a friends crush?
only to tease the friend, or sometimes unintentionally.

When is the last time you took a nap?
today. for 10 minutes.

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine.

Do you like winter time?
to some extent.

Seven days from now will you be in a relationship?
that'd be weird.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over?
i don't count.

Last time you took a shower?
after this survey.

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
up. but still lingering in bed. :)

Have you ever been around someone who was high?
...hahahhha. YEAUPPP.

Do you like where you live?
yes. but i wish it was 20 degrees (F) warmer. D:

Explain why you last threw up?
because i was anorex---no, i was sick. and it was a long time ago.

Are you a jealous person?
to some extent.

Did you have a good birthday this year?
yes. thanks everyone! <3

What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual relationships?
i don't care.

Who was the last person you rode in the car with that was under 21?
i don't remember/care?

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
yeah. it's horrible. D:

Do you have any brothers?
1.

What should you be doing right now?
showering.

Name everyone that made you smile today?
there are many, which i really appreciate and am thankful for.

What's the last piercing you got?
ears. 1 per.

Do you want to be married right now?
god, no.

What is your favorite flavor of jelly?
orange! and strawberries, but not together.

Do you want children?
uh. maybe 2? i don't really know. children don't sound good right now.

Do people underestimate you?
i don't really care.

Ever been kissed under fireworks?
no, but that'd be cute.

Are you usually the heart breaker or the heart broken?
/shrugs, don't worry about it, "i hit something every day." (;

Who was the last person you were mad at?
/shrugs. don't remember.

Do you give out second chances too easily?
...not quite.

Had plans and broke them?
all the time. :(

When was the last time you saw your grandparents?
when i was in 8th grade. :(

Was there anyone who "made your day"?
everyone contributed. (:

excellence, just pure excellence

2009-03-08T12:08:00.000-07:00

You asked her out, she said no. You asked her friends to ask her, she still said no. You surprised her outside her gynecologist’s office and, afraid for her life, she said yes.

Now’s the time to set the mood and open up with the best line you’ve got, or perhaps several lines in a row so that she can choose the best one to respond to - fishing with dynamite.
1) “I noticed that you have breasts and that they are both equally awesome.”

Women love compliments, especially about their breasts, and especially on the first date. Try to wait at least until the appetizer comes, wait for her to reach over and grab a mozzarella stick, assess the validity of the statement you’re about to make (so that it sounds truthful), and lay it on smooth with your best Barry White voice.

2) “I noticed when I picked you up that your mom is attractive.”

As you may see, the best pick up lines start with “I noticed,” because women like men who pay attention to the details. They also want you to like their families, and thus calling out her mom’s MILFness is a sure winner. No Barry White voice is needed for this one; just follow up with asking for a picture of her mom to keep in your wallet.

3) “When we have kids, our daughters are going to be hot.”

This approach works on numerous levels. It shows that you are thinking about kids, that you want daughters, and that you think little girls are hot. It’s a three-point shot, and you sir, will hit nothing but net. If this one backfires, bring up the time you surprised her outside her gynecologist’s office to change the subject.

4) “Today, I learned the average pe**s is three inches long. Could you pass the salad, please?”

Two things happen here – you make it known that you are an avid learner, and you look polite when you say “please.” Don’t follow up with a comment about your own pe**s, because that would be inappropriate. Wait until later when things get hot and heavy for her to realize that you are slightly above average.

5) “When we get home, ignore my roommate, she’s my girlfriend.”

Much like the other four lines, you want your date to feel safe, like you are always looking out for her. Also, she will be excited to hear that she will have somebody to hang out with when you get tired of being chivalrous and want to play Halo.

What's your best ice-breaker for the first date?

my personal favorite: is number 1. so classy.

guess what?

2009-03-04T12:55:00.000-08:00

i turned 19 on monday.

i read from this book once about this girl saying that she turned 10, but she isn't just 10, but also 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10. that's the closest theory i can think of which correlates to my feelings and mentality right now. i still feel very much the same, and i'm thankful for that.

it's strange, i'll have to admit, to realize how young you are when you turn a year older. at least, that was my take. i've always celebrated my brithday with my parents, and then have some celebrations with my friends either later or before. but this year, i wasn't with my parents. homesickness hit hard (again), and i wound up bawling on one of my good friend's floor in a fetal position for a good hour (...like what 3-year-olds do).

on one hand, i realized how childish and not-very-grown-up-at-all i was, and on the other, i realized how important my friends were to me. i don't feel like reflecting on moments like this, but this is something important, which i'm glad i realize.

but anyway, highlights of the week (so far):
1. surprise birthday thing from friends. really nice.
2. good news regarding ssp '09 tutoring
3. received a package from wong fu productions (toon spencer jr plushie) from...anonymous. (seriously, who are you?)
4. a ton of well-wishes on birthday. (thanks, again, everyone. i really appreciate it. sinceriously)
5. princess crown. i think i'm growing attached to it.
6. tentative plans for Vietnam this summer. uhm. WOW, i'm excited, apprehensive also, but 90% excitement trumps the 10% apprehension.

it's going to be a great summer. and awesome spring break (week 1 w/ WUFO in SC and week 2 w/ p.mertz in maine!)

in the mean time, the magic which fills the seconds, minutes, hours, and days from now 'til spring break are tests, exams, and essays. insert unenthusiastic hurrah here.

yaay, survey

2008-12-25T02:08:00.001-08:00

okay, so i haven't blogged in forever. but college is time-consuming! (and way too much fun)

this is only a thing that i do if i feel like i need to, anyway (and if you can guess, i haven't been 'needing' this. repeat: college is way too fun; and time-consuming.)

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
❦ Ai
❦ miyako
❦ God. :) (not really)

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:
❦ read
❦ watched tv
❦ respire (so i may be a bio nerd, leave me alone)

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
❦ my imagination/analogies
❦ my wardrobe
❦ my "cute little asian girl" power (yeah, you think i'm joking, but i've gotten free gelato and a lot of things from lots of different people before, so i'm not entirely lying or conceited when i say that i have "cute little asian girl" powers)

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
❦ i think i have add/adhd
❦ i'm easily distracted
❦ my lack of motivation

THREE THINGS YOU'RE AFRAID OF:
❦ failure
❦ rejection
❦ upsetting people, especially if i like them

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
❦ undergarments (makes me feel good on the inside :P)
❦ jeans
❦ dress shirt

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
❦ moisturizer
❦ showers
❦ hair tie

THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS:
❦ laptop <3
❦ college id (i need it to enter my building/get meals/almost everything else)
❦ cellphone (which act as my alarm clock, memo pad, and sometimes camera)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS:
❦ jack's mannequin
❦ dashboard confessional
❦ motion city soundtrack

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
❦ receiving presents
❦ family, great friends, and cute/charming/dashing boys
❦ receiving presents from family, great friends, and/or cute/charming/dashing boys (i'm only half-joking)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
❦ "resolution" - jack's mannequin
❦ "fire" - augustana
❦ "remix ignition" - r kelly (i blame college; specifically octet and p.reznick)

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
❦ be fitter!
❦ have (a) romantic episode(s)
❦ shamelessly hit on strangers (and escape unscathed)

THREE THINGS YOU REGRET:
❦ not trying hard enough
❦ not saying/doing the things i should've done at the time
❦ not telling the people i liked, that i liked them (and have them reject me...no really. i feel like if i say it, i would've been incredibly embarassed and ashamed, but it would've helped me mature as an adult)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
❦ acceptance
❦ happiness
❦ the occasional comfortable silence (simply put, i'm the kind of girl who enjoys company, but sometimes talking is a bother for me.)

THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'RE GIVING TO THE WORLD:
❦ myself
❦ my time
❦ my appreciation

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
❦ i want to be in love
❦ i hate puppies
❦ i prefer leaning to my right when falling asleep

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
❦ long eye lashes
❦ collar bones/neck
❦ abs/waist

THREE EMOTIONAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
❦ wit
❦ charm
❦ intelligence

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
❦ not shop
❦ grow, apparently.
❦ focus for long periods of time

THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
❦ my grandma (especially the times when she would brush my hair)
❦ the frequent comments from strangers about how cute i am
❦ napping on my dad as he'd read me Doraemon commic books.

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
❦ this is a hard one...uhm. money
❦ valuable lessons/insightful wisdom
❦ hand-written letters

THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE:
❦ nature
❦ nurture
❦ my own conception the type of person i want to be

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
❦ sleeping
❦ shopping
❦ wandering/going on "adventures"

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
❦ sleep
❦ play frisbee
❦ take out contacts

THREE CAREERS YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
❦ doctor (as in ph.d. professor lecturing to college students)
❦ bioE/researcher
❦ grade school teacher (as in elementary or middle school)

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
❦ japan
❦ bahamas
❦ sydney, australia?

yeah, okay sure, i'll blog

2008-09-05T07:18:00.000-07:00

more than a dozen days of college and i find myself...actually i'm not quite sure.

there are the fun moments when you're with your friends and being happy, carefree, and so chillax that i don't care what the carpe diem's going on; and then there's these moments that i feel swamped and intimidated--intimidated by the plethora of things i should be doing, what i need to do, what i've yet to do, and what the repercussions are.

technically speaking, i'm an adult because i've lived for eighteen plus years. the only problem is that i don't feel like i've matured or gained enough intellectual wisdom to call myself an adult. but because of my age, i've found myself sometimes feeling phony-licious because i don't act the way i do...or did.

i wonder if this is a sign that i am growing and indeed maturing into an adult, or if i am still the little girl who likes to dress up in her parent's work clothes and pretend to be bigger and older.

another question is whether it even matters at all. it sounds very utilitarian, but if the end is good, and if the process does not hurt anyone around me, should i care about what is happening so much? introspection is great because it helps a person discover something about who he/she is. but too much just leads to more, unanswered questions that leaves said person boggled and confused about their whole being.

i think this is one of the many reasons why i don't blog so often. i don't like knowing that there are so many uncertainties about myself, i don't like finding my flaws, i don't like discovering how i've repeated some of my mistakes--most of all, i don't like feeling exasperated and thinking "shit, i don't have a clue what i'm doing and i don't know where i'm going."

yesterday, there was a plant sale out on the paresky lawn. i was so amped, and wanted to buy a cactus. the idea was fun, because, i reasoned half-jokingly to anyone who would listen, "if i buy a cactus, i can have a plant and and defensive weapon. yeah, if someone tries to attack me, i can throw the plant at them!"

there were cactii for sale at a moderately cheap price. cactii are also very easy to take care of. i've also walked back and forth paresky lawn several times yesterday, but i found myself unable to purchase a plant. i really, really couldn't.

and the only reason that i could think of was that i didn't want to have a commitment. plants, as innocent and decorative as they are, are live creatures. they need to be taken care of. if i do a good job, they'll last forever, even longer than me and onto my children. if my children do not take care of my baby cactus, that baby cactus will die, and the idea that my kin had destroyed something i've worked so hard to take care of (presumably) truly perturbs me.
but what if the cactus dies in my care?
well, that's even worse. if i'm going to kill something, then why would i buy it and waste money? i'll kill it!

my almost-relationship with a cactus plant also made me question my (lack-of) romantic life. am i single because i'm noncommittal?

...i sincerely wish i knew.

fine, i'll blog

2008-08-23T11:50:00.000-07:00

dear digsby (i like this name; enough to make it the current name of this blog anyway),

i think you've noticed that i haven't been blogging as much. neither on xanga or on blogthings. the explanation for this absence is simple: i don't feel like it.

i have to admit, most of the time that i write, it is because my life lacks excitement. because really, when there are so many things going on in my life, blogging is the last thing i want to do. who wants to be the historian when you can be the historic figure, right?

well..screw that. lol

just kidding.

okay, i admit it:

2008-06-26T22:57:00.000-07:00

i am scared. really scared. if i could be petrified i would, but i can't because i actually have to get on that plane!

and to be honest, i really don't want to have any sort of group thing to send me off.

but whatever, mrs. dalloway will always be mrs. dalloway. and i "must assemble."

things to do before i die

2008-06-25T06:31:00.000-07:00

- go to france, and get impossibly lost there
- taste as many martinis out there
- record myself, for a day, or week.

i think...

2008-06-24T17:00:00.000-07:00

this might be a hunch, but i think i like andrew lam, or if i don't like him now, i think i will like him by the end of the week.

"upset"

2008-06-23T08:42:00.000-07:00

today's topic is "upset."

the funny thing about being upset is that in order to be upset, you need to have some sort of expectation(s) about the outcome. and mind you, these expectations are pretty likely to happen--that's why you expect them. put mathematically so that people who prefer facts and figures can accept more easily, expectations should happen when you believe that there is a 60% or greater chance of it happening.

so yesterday night, i was pretty upset. really, really. it retrospect, it was very, very stupid. and, i believe that i also made it (the situation, i mean) much more awkward and complicated. normally, when i am upset, i usually ignore it, and try my best to hide it from the party that had upset me. when things are less complicated, i would tell them, very casually, very cooly, very colloquially, that yes, in fact, i was upset at them for quite a while because of this reason, and that fact. those moments are told when that person is in a good mood; because usually, when people upset me, i expect (see the notes on expectations and upsets above) that something bothered them earlier. so it's best to do confrontations in good or neutral moods, because things are less likely to flare up. and then, after the party realizes, there is an "oh really? i'm sorry!" expression or something very similar to it. then, because i've been over it, i would say "it's okay. i'm over it :)" and would change the topic swiftly to something very lighthearted.

in situations like that, feelings are less hurt, and situations don't become very awkward. so things are better, better, better. but yesterday, i was upset. tres upset, indeed. again, to help the mathematically-inclined audience/readers understand, i had an expected yield of ninety...seven percent; you see, it's very high, so it's natural that i would be very upset, right? right. and because i was very upset, i myself did something that potentially made the party that i had a conversation with mad (but i hope that party doesn't stay very mad, and if that party is mad, i hope not for very long).

and before i continue, i should asterisk a strange behavior. call it a superpower that i cannot yet control, and probably will never be able to control, or whatever term Freud may have. even in the most extreme of situations (whether it be anger, grief, depression, happiness, whatever, etc.) i still have an "ability," a "superpower," to think of what it must be like in the other party's shoes. ...or maybe that's what guilt is. either way, it makes being angry at a person or a group of people very difficult.

so i signed on and explained myself. then i excused myself and signed off very abruptly. because i was (and still a bit am) upset.

this is my situation, presently. for the mathematically-inclined, things are difficult now because it is not just a simple single-variable calculus problem, but a multiple-variable situation, and therefore, much more difficult. (i mention "mathematically-inclined" often because some people are more left-brained and some people are more right-brained, so for one, facts and numbers are easier to understand and for the other, feelings.)

and the variables involved in this problem are: the upset feeling at a decreasing rate (dy/dx), time (x), change in time (dx), confusion (u), awkwardness (alpha), anxiety (beta), and a strong desire for things to just to be forgotten (theta).

...very, very, very difficult indeed.

there is a currently a new voicemail in my phone, which i did not finish listening to. i've tried multiple times, but it pains me every time i do. it's sort of like looking back at a test that i received a bad grade on. a bad, nasty feeling.

so, officially, i am at a loss of what to do.

i'm weird.

2008-05-25T02:14:00.000-07:00

aipod: i think i'm weird.
jonas: yes yes
jonas: lol
jonas: thats the explination to everything!

but it'll help me find my The One...because my The One will be able to understand my abstractness.

"you quit your job at the bank proving money's not fun when you're gone..."

2008-05-22T20:26:00.000-07:00

the following is from the link provided (which i must thank my brother for, because he sent it to me):
I'm leaving the bank now.
I'm not made to do this. If I put my mind to something as much as I do here to mindless text editing, copy and pasting, and getting yelled at for stuff other people can't/won't/don't do, I would be much better off. It's 6:43 a.m. on a Sunday, and I have at least 14 more hours of work to do today that will not be fulfilling, useful, appreciated, recognized, or paid for.
Sorry this is last minute, but it's just not worth doing more
My blackberry is on my desk
Apparently that failed staffing request was fatal (no, not as in I'm going to kill myself, hehe, I'm just going to go enjoy life). There is no happiness here.
I took all my personal stuff. No one needs to contact me for anything (except for a drink for those of you with my personal number). I will only be at my New York address a few days longer.
Good luck y'all,

i think what struck me the most is "There is no happiness here." I stopped for a minute after reading it and wondered whether i am happy. yes, in class i laugh and smile and joke and am around friends, but alone by myself this question pops up. i still don't have the confidence to say that i am happy. i've tried, but after a couple of minutes, i detected a sense of fallacy in my statement. i wonder if i am just fickle, or really unhappy.

and if i really am unhappy, then what, pray tell, will make me happy?
if money does not equal happiness, and you really only get ONE soul mate (thats one out of 6.6 billion, ladies and gents!)...if those two things are true, then will you and i ever find real happiness?

in northanger abbey, jane austen writes that "Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love." if this is true, jane, then are we cheating ourselves and our "friends" the time necessary to find our The One's?

...maybe this is too pessimistic, and you have the right to think that i am a pessimist, but all i really want is for someone to convince me that it isn't hopeless, and convince me that everyone, myself included, will be able to find my T.O.

anyways, back to the books.

SIGNED: ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY.

hello, how are you?

2008-05-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

and i swear i'll start updating on this site again.

actually working on writing a story (i want it to be like a children's story) and then translating it into english. how exciting! it hope it turns out well. i've a special talent for confusing others by trying to give too much details. some people call that verbal diarrhea.

whatever!

final judgment:

2008-01-08T19:11:00.000-08:00

finals are coming up. I can't afford to slack off anymore, which is intimidating and really sad. I can't help but blame college applications. I was in the same situation this year, yet I was able to pull through because I had less things to focus on.

ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY

october 25:

2007-10-26T18:50:00.000-07:00

on that day, my hopes crashed.
i cried. not only because i had lost a chance, but also because i had lost a family member.
i'm really sorry i disappointed you.
no words can express it. and the fact that you're so distant, indifferent, and caustic really hurts.

signed: ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY.

a moment to brag

2007-10-10T20:43:00.001-07:00

i have "fic fans"! (: how exciting!

(good) news:

2007-09-29T17:02:00.000-07:00

with respect to math: madame copes has graciously decided to throw out the first test. which is great, considering i probably did horribly on it! right now am praying that the one test that is 50% of my grade in that class (which determines my A or not!) is an A. (please, please, please be an A!)

otherwise, i'm stuck doing homework and college. how depressing.

now commentable:

2007-09-24T20:49:00.000-07:00

hooray, well. not really. but it's better than just looking at my online trackers and thinking, "who is this?"

short post today, but on a happy note, math test (that is surely meant for failure) is postponed! but then again, the proclamation highlighted how miserably we did on the quizzes. heart-ending.

EDIT: because eric le is a wonderful person, sometimes.

AIM IM with eric le .
8:59 PM
eric le: whaddup G
eric le: hiding?
aipod: holla
aipod: lol
aipod: hiding?
aipod: well
aipod: kinda
9:00 PM
eric le: ohh
eric le: haha
aipod: how'd you know?
aipod: haha
aipod: lucky guess?
eric le: cus yo dont use this SN
eric le: and you told me before i think
aipod: yeah
aipod: but i like this sn
aipod: it's cute
aipod: i love you almost
aipod: haha
eric le: eh..not quite huh
eric le: haha jk
aipod: awww
aipod: that makes me sad
aipod: ahha
aipod: so what's up?
eric le: eating banana
aipod: lol
aipod: hahah
aipod: can i put that in my profile?
eric le: put what?
aipod: eric le: eating banana
eric le: haha
eric le: sure
aipod: y'know, this is going to sound really corny, and probably mushy
aipod: but i'm glad i talk to you
aipod: b/c before, you were just this big intimidating tall guy
aipod: and now you're eric le, a friendly older friend slash acquaintance
aipod: ))))))))
eric le: wow...
eric le: <3
eric le: you even typed out "slash" instead of just "/"
aipod: lol
aipod: <3333
aipod: doesn't that make you feel better?
aipod: )))
aipod: i just realized recently that i want everyone to be happy
eric le: i am happy, thank you for making me happy
aipod:
eric le: im glad i talk to you too
aipod: alrighty, now i'm going to do my homework, i'm like 3 days behind
aipod: haha
eric le: before, you were just a little not so intimidating girl
aipod: really?
aipod: lol
aipod: haha
aipod: am i more intimidating now? >:DDDDD
eric le: now, youre a taller cool friend, still no so intimidating
eric le: but very caring for taking care of an intimidating guy's fishes
eric le: for the price of jamba juice
eric le: which is hardly anything
aipod: even if the tanks turned out dirty
aipod: i was worried!
aipod: like
aipod: i would be doing something and then going "oh my god! i have watch the fish!"
aipod: and then i would realize how stupid it is
aipod: b/c they don't do anything
aipod: haha
9:10 PM
eric le: thanks
aipod: lol
eric le: made my florida trip much better
aipod: yaay
aipod: okay
eric le: k
aipod: seriously though. g2g.
aipod: byeeeee
eric le: bye
aipod: i'm glad i make you happy!
eric le: yey

P.S.: for anyone who thinks "aipod" really is my screen name, you are wrong. but you're welcome to find out that you're wrong. honestly though, I really wanted it to be my screen name, but someone already claimed it. "phenylethylamine," and "aichat," were also claimed too. it's such a shame, but I supposed it's just the way things turned out since I'm not clever enough think of it before someone else does. insert shrug. and off we go, bye now!

SIGNED: ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY

to-do list:

2007-09-22T15:48:00.001-07:00

shit shit shit. one slip really does mean the world crumbling down. and i really didn't feel like pulling an all-nighter either. darnittttt!

- math: problem 10
- math: pg 585
- math: white worksheet
- math: pg 483 (why is it achronological?)
EDIT: - math: oh yeah, that gigantic test on tuesday, too!
as weird as this may seem, i'm actually learning as opposed to last year. I think partly it has to do with the need to adapt: if i don't learn this year, my grades really will reflect it. therefore, i've been learning. and actually memorizing rules! (plus BC is an addendum to AB, so essentially it's just a buildup on stuff i've learned before! pretty easy once a concept's familiar, actually -- so "yaay" for that)
- english: dalloway journals. pg. 30something, need to get to 133. (not so bad, but then again, this is Woolf we're talking about here. no underestimation, she's a worthy, purple-prose erudite!)
- gov: readings 6 & 7 (did i mention i lost a book on my 4th week of school? incredibly pathetic. and shameful.)
- gov: chapter 3 study guide. am not loving the "e-book" at all. it's hard for me to 'grasp' concepts when the material is 'intangible.' (pun intended. laugh!)
- chem: hw
- chem: bring snacks pour les manger]
- french: journal
- french: report

look on the bright side: it's raining. good for california.

vitals low, other than that, still strong:

2007-09-19T01:13:00.000-07:00

yes-- I didn't die. just posted on my other blog instead. it's a conflict, somewhat; i promised myself that never would I discontinue updating posts on my xanga, and also said that i wanted to write on this lovely little haven too.

oh the dilemma! oh the melodrama of a silly girl who should be worrying about other things in her life (i.e. college applications, getting over her ambivalence and deciding once and for all what she wants to do instead of being incredibly capricious and fickle-minded, and finishing her school assignmnets)!

well, here's a not-so secret: I'm very tired. on one hand, i just want january first, the absolute last day for all of my other college applications to be turned in, to come already so that I may relax and just slack off tremendously (that's what I've been looking forward to doing my whole constrained, public-education oriented life!) and be one of the "cool" rebellious kids who get to speak their mind and be free--be labeled a "miscreant!" anything exciting lest supernatural beings decide that I should die on a whim and find out, "Gee! Royally screwed am I yet worse!: I've done nothing and barely lived!" a tragedy in disguise, the pursuit of a good education.

pragmatically, if i can still convince myself that i'm a practical sour old prude, there's only a couple of months left for me to toil--but oh! toil! toil, toil, TOIL! ...there's so much toil that the repetition of realization doesn't is surreal yet real and impossibly there.

where's my deep breath? when shall i end this interminable, vapid rant?
...just a couple more seconds, please...

conundrums:
- SATs aren't good enough for the good colleges, and barely safe enough for the decent ones. (what to do what to do what to do what to do what to do? -- the disgusting mantra)
- 'good' writing is not applying to important tests. (why? why why why why why why? the same things i find myself praised for also has others' censures; why why why why why why?) one of you is lying to me, now which one is it? 'fess up now! ...pleease..?
- a smorgasborg of ap classes (plus physical education) I'm at my limit, I'm worn thin, what to do what to do, help me Binh!**

**: reference to the protagonist in The Book of Salt, by Monique Truong, whose debut story highlights the reflection of a (vietnamese, gay) man at his crossroads...who, ironically enough, doesn't have a clue of what he wants to do either.

...ON A LIGHTER, HAPPIER, NEWER NOTE (since I prefer to end most things in such a manner, if at all possible):
the fanfiction i've laboured on has someone who appreciate it enough to actually draw a beautiful comic strip about it (three page's worth!)
obviously, I'm thrilled, can you tell? it's not everyday someone makes a tribute to you. <3 and I truly appreciate it honestly.

high school: beginning of the final year

2007-09-02T16:09:00.000-07:00

it's amazing how fast the summer ended. i sort of regret not being able to go out or hang out with my friends as often as i wanted to. it feels like the promises i made to go out with people are all empty. a part of me feels really bad about it, but the times when i've snuck out and did stuff that i enjoyed when i was supposed to be studying makes me feel even worse.

it's a necessary evil, in a way. and i don't like it so much.

but whatever. i'm hopeful that after college apps are in, i'll have some more time for myself.

the end. for now.

oh my god:

2007-08-03T11:11:00.000-07:00

I think i'm In love with Lawrence Selden.

is this...is that...even possible? to be in love with a character?

a 'someday' wishful thought:

2007-07-19T22:01:00.000-07:00

when i grow up, i want to buy a house. in that house, i'd like a big bedroom for myself, with a nice bath connected to it. i'd also like three other bedrooms: one for my possibility of adopting a child (or a child of my own that does not have a father, but does have a biological father), and one for the possibility of adopting friend-guests for the night. the third bedroom will be small, quaint, and cozy. located closer to my bedroom than the room of my possible child. it will be a small study, and the furniture will be plush, cozy, sophisticated, and mahogany. there will be where my own library of books reside.

just because most people don't read books anymore does not mean that i shouldn't. i'm not the majority, either, and if you didn't know that by now, then you do not know me. but then again, there is a possibility that you really don't know me, and also the possibility that i don't know you either. i've no clue if it will remain that way or not. the future is a que sera, sera for me. inconsequentially, what will remain will be myself, my ambition to own a house, and my ambition of a study-library in my-ambition-to-own-a-house.

among the list of books, i will definitely have:
- Art and Lies. Jeanette Winterson
- The Book of Salt. Monique Truong
- The Great Gatsby. Francis Scott Fitzgerald
- Another Marvelous Thing. Laurie Colwin
- Chocolate: A Bittersweet Saga of Light and Dark. Mort Rosenblum
...
and as many Thoreau and Emerson essays and works as i can possibly, greedily acquire.

yes, there will be brain-candy books, too. and yes. i intend on proudly declaring, in a nonchalant tone, "Why yes, I've read all of them. If you're interested, I could make a recommendation." an undertone of haughtiness. i love it.

falling off track:

2007-07-18T21:48:00.001-07:00

i just realized the start of school is imminent, and i've yet to complete any of my summer assignments! this is most definitely terrible, and daunting. i think the main reason lies in the fact that it's summer, and my own procrastination. yet again: procrastination is always here.

starting thursday, which is tomorrow, i will complete my list of priorities and deadlines, mentioned below:
- thursday 7/19: finish house of mirth dialectical journal; finish the chem packet, do the notes and assignments in the textbook on friday
- friday 7/20: finish chem textbook chapter one and all of the assignments that goes with chapter two; take notes for chem textbook two
- saturday 7/21: great america, but by the day's end, will have almost completed reading invisible man, as well as start the dialectical journals
- sunday 7/22: ap government homework. must complete at least 3 out of 15 articles and evals (20% of the work). if i time myself correctly (i.e. waking up early), i should be able to complete that within a couple of hours and have enough time to study for the sats and finish chapter 4 of YT.

well, a four-day plan is good right now, transitioning from lazy-retard mode to efficient-proactive mode cold turkey is incredibly hard. wish me luck!

ps. i'm kind of disappointed that YT isn't getting as many reviews as it had in the first two chapters. could it be because the chapter isn't very good? are my skills lacking already? this makes me ponder and i find myself worried: is this it? am i destined to be a one-hit wonder? oh, that thought is most terrifying. and i plan to avoid it as much as possible.

self-expression

2007-07-11T22:08:00.000-07:00

self-expression, like most things, has more than one aspect to it; however, one can generalize it into two categories: mentally and physically. examples of mental self-expression would be something along the lines of writing, reading, playing music, or singing. they come from the mind, they are figments of your imagination. by expressing them, you allow the seed-like figments to germinate, to sprout, to grow, to thrive--and that's the best way to do it.

for the past week(s), i've been working on a writing venture--fanfiction. yes, i concede: i read manga, i watch anime, i stalk forums and fansites, and now--i also am becoming one of "them." the account i created on a website, which was created for fans who wish to write fiction for the stories/movies/cartoons/animations they've seen, has not been put to use until recently. i published two chapters. excitement, happinese, accomplishment, anxiety, apprehension, resolve--those emotions ran through my mind, and i was consumed--the plot bunnies have finally sank their buckteeth into me deep enough that the rabid venom has overtaken. i was a slave to an idea, yours truly, and i wrote, and editted, and racked my brain for words that would accurately describe the feeling. powerfully?-no too overused and sophmoric. ardently?-not there yet, there will be a moment when that word will be used, and that will be the time when i am consumed and filled with orgasmic writing pleasure and content. the necessary and perfect word to describe my status would be "satiated."

i've self-expressed myself mentally.

by next week, i hope to do the same, but physically. be bolder in front of the camera. act like a model. be a model. "own it" with my eyes. command presence. show personality. i just hope my resolve stays. i plan to name the act of self-expression: stage-tenacts of self-expression. look for it photo-edited. i'll most likely post it here. i can't wait. i need to get toned though. and hopefully my resolve stays.

another thing: i need to update chapter 3; even though they're strangers, they and i share the same affection for the characters and the ideals. a kinship, if you use the term loosely. so i shan't disappoint. (:

and of course, proof:

treasured

2007-07-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

i'm elated! il y a trois jours, and my first chapter of a current project i'm working on already has 22 reviews!
it feels really great to be appreciated and judged not by one's appearance but by one's own style, and skills. it feels like a great start. and although i'm a bit ambivalent, as well as apprehensive, since i'm not too sure about the plotline myself or about some complications i've inadvertently created, everything is still in the black.

the only thing i'm worried about is time management: there's the "writer," miyako-san, and there's also the "student," the "daughter," the "sister," and so many other things that life's just become a bit drawn. i don't mind though, it feels great to discover and know about myself a little bit more.

i'm not going to tell anyone that i write, though. this is my guilty pleasure. if the curious kittens out there really are interested, they would take it as an initiative to find out. i'm not going to provide, but i also won't hinder either. "just let things flow naturally, and allow nature to take its course."

currently: pissed off at the rapidity - or lack there of - the internet. I thought cable connections were supposed to be fast no matter what? isn't that what comcast implied with the turtle commercials? (unless i've been horribly fooled by advertisements, then i'm angry, and ashamed.)

speaking of self-discovery:
schadenfreude: n. pleasure derived by someone from another's misfortune; not to be confused with sadism or masochism.
derived from the German language, from schaden 'harm' + freude 'joy.'
it's one of the characteristics that every human has displayed (i think), yet the term is elusive. i find that ironic, and at the same time, it makes me wonder--like the term, are most people aware that they have schadenfreude-tendencies?
i concede that i do, from time to time, due to moments of self-doubt et al circumstances, but that problem has been identified and, with a conscious effort, i feel that i don't resent and act jealous as much as before...

anyways. i'm going to work on the writing project now. i'm so happy, thanks again to all the reviewers! (:

surprising:

2007-07-03T00:28:00.000-07:00

i find it amazing, the oh-my-god-what-the-hell-this-is-an-easy-question-and-you-got-it-wrong?! sort, that so many people would get the question wrong.

then again, maybe they misread it--hopefully they misread it. but whatever the case, i still feel slightly happy that i'm withing the minority that are right. sort of like copernicus stating that the earth revolves around the sun (except in copernicus's case, it was considered heresy, and he was one in a million against everyone else, and also was under house arrest for the remainder of his life).

TO ELENA CHIT (i also refer to you as FANTASTICSFRENCHIE, because those two relate to the times we were in each other's company):
yes, the comment button is off. why? i just felt like it. :P
and yes, i hope we have adventures together soon, especially during the summer. i've already put this in my facebook comment for you, but now that i've found out that you work, you just got 10x more attractive *pseudo-lascivious wink* (:
and today, a bland day for me, was made a bit more interesting when i decided to superman-dive onto my mom's car's hood, which, as intended, shocked her. (to be fair, and to defend myself for such outlandish and "LOL" behavior, i did warn her that i would be up to strange antics--her sole living daughter is weird, she'll just have to accept it...without much complaints and retaliation.) the only thing i didn't expect, however, was a man in his gigante suv seeing the whole event (he was about to make a u-turn) laughing.
well, i feel accomplished. except my mom, seeing as how she loves to have the last word (and that trait has been passed on to me, i'm sure) said the most austere thing, "one of these days, i will have my heart arrested because of you" or something like that, it's late, i don't feel like recalling the day's event exactly and then translating it word for word, and meaning for meaning, right now. the gist is what's important.
what's the meaning of me typing this for you, my dear elena? well, consider this an implication that should you wish to spend time with yours truly, be prepared. and please, "if you are pregnant, have a pacemaker, are taking any medications that might cause serious reactions against adrenaline, humor, or "immaturity", or have a family history with meekness or medical conditions, it is best to make the information known to Ai Tran before any 'fun' can commence." (don't you just love disclaimers?)

goodnight. -codename: aipod

scary thought

2007-06-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

what if all your hard work didn't matter?

i know that it does, and i know that it should, but..what if it really didn't, and with a stroke of (bad) luck, you fail? (if it ended up with great success, then hey, shut up and feel bad for the rest of the people who worked hard for it and be humble about your fortunes and attributes)
would trying have been worth if if the outcome still ends up in misery?

that's a scary thought: now transcend, and press onwards. 2200something, here i come! (:<

the general idea/ulterior motive

2007-06-29T00:31:00.000-07:00

well, think of it this way, you're not that attractive, darling, so your chances of marrying a "charming, humorous, chivalrous, intelligent" man is less than one percent. so there's only one thing to do, and that would be to study harder for the SATs, get into some fabulously prestigious university, make enough money, and buy yourself happiness. for those who say that happiness can't be bought, they're either not rich enough or not creative enough. you, my dear, are creative enough, you just need to be rich. two twins can sit in a bar, and if one said "i attend harvard university (and will probably make zillions)" versus her sister who says "i attend mission college" the boy is going to pick the former because she guarantees a good life, and intellectual conversations.
besides that, just saying i attend harvard makes you ten times more attractive. beauty fades, but harvard will always be prestigious, and will always be attractive.

hope exists!

2007-06-24T00:03:00.000-07:00

this might seem trivial and not worth mentioning -- not to mention superstitious and downright retarded (to some people who do not believe in superstition) -- but it did bring a smile to my face.

two conjectures from the magic 8 ball reading:
1. there exist charming, humorous, chivalrous, and intelligent boys/guys that will turn into men -- so HOPE(!) exists, and there's at least a very, very, very, very, very(!) slim chance that one of them might be for me!
2. i will fall in love with a charming, humorous, chivalrous, intelligent man. not necessarily in that order, but he will have all those characteristics. yay!

- codename: aipod

realization

2007-06-22T22:35:00.000-07:00

this is the moment when i feel like i've failed and have lost everything, and definitely, this new low certainly trumps any low i've had. if possible, i feel branded as a loser. and i really do hope that i do make it into a good college.

at this rate, i just hope that i make it into a UC.

"...these, my friend, are the moments when you wish you could start life over--or end it completely." - miyako.

P.S.:
miyako is a pseudonym of mine. sometimes, in my idyllic mind wandering, i create alter-egos that represent myself. miyako, in japanese, can mean "beautiful(mi) night(ya) child(ko)," which describe a bit about me; i was born on a beautiful night. the beautiful night represents some aspects of pleasantry, in other words, "a dream," since i was born in march, this would mean that it is a pleasant dream that sprung forth a "ko" - child - which would represent myself (or, at least, that's what i interpreted when i chanced upon the name). there's also something charming about a "beautiful night child" -- a dreamlike qualit that has some sort of mystery, and tranquility to it. (since i'm a vain child, you can see why i'd interpret it this way...afterall, don't we want to be seen as something more wonderful and more extraordinary than we really are?
"miya" can also mean "sacred house," so miyako would then be "a child from a sacred house." the tran family, my ancestors, were relatives of the royal tran dynasty in vietnam, once upon a time. however, there's really no point in saying this since there aren't any evidence, and just about any "tran" can claim this, therefor i will adjust that the tran lineage, which i came from, have been around for a long time, which symbolizes its sanctity. (consequently, my mom came from the "le" family, which also "have been around for a long time.") therefore any child coming from a sacred house must have respect as well as duty -- another filial obligation, another accountability, another moral imperative...

P.P.S.: i wonder why i always try to end whatever i may say, write, perform, or do on a slightly uplifting note...is it because i don't want others to focus on my weakness that i shared and that this is a way to divert the reader's attention, or is it because i'm an optimist. perhaps it's both. we'll compromise and say that it's both. (for now, at least.)

good"night" to you. good"morning," nocturnals, it's 12 AM, are you awake yet?

-iloveyouplatonically, codename: aipod

a "quiet" moment

2007-06-22T15:03:00.000-07:00

sometimes, i wish i was perfect, so i wouldn't have to worry about anything, but then again, i think everyone wants that, too.

i've no crushes, love interest, or romantic episode lately; that, in itself, is already disappointing. however, i will say that house of mirth, by wharton, is truly fascinating. her discretion and train of thought is somewhat similar to mine, except for the fact that i'm the way i am more by choice than the protagonist (lily bart) is; and lily bart, because she is a fictional character written by a woman who thrives to succeed her society and gender role, will actually have a happy ending.

today, a thought which has struck me oftentimes before re-visited me, and therefore strengthened my familiarity and belief in it: fate are writers capable of controling a person's storyline. this first thought came to me when a part of me wished that i was a character in a book -- my life has already been dictated by those around me, so why not have an official omnipotent entity decide and write my fate for me? then the part of me that saw flaws in things pointed out that there are flaws in that thinking, for there are different genres of books--what what should happen if my author-slash-fate happened to write about the less rosy genres (e.g. horror, death, pain, mystery, etc)? to be sure, that would be the end of me--i'd take drugs, find myself in a dark alleyway with lascivious men with malevolent intentions, be ruined, be betrayed and backstabbed, i'd take drugs, or literally be drowned by sorrows...no thanks to those fate, indubitably! and anyways, after indulging the myriad of scary ideas and the plethora of how many ways i would be doomed, there was an amendment that, should anyone be allowed to write my life as if i were a character, i'd want to be a happy, perfect, minor character, that, after some melodramatic episodes in high school, and possibly college, i'd find a charming, smart, handsome, loyal, kind, and funny boy (around my age -- 3 years my senior, max)who loves me for who i am, and would allow me to be carefree and, despite what i may do (and whom i may do, for that matter) he'd remain faithful, and would love and forgive me just the same without being a pushover, at the same time.

...as the magic-8 predicted: "not likely"

to be sure, i'm completely crestfallen when the chance that i might not find my "soulmate," as some would call it, makes me terribly sad and lonely.
rest assured though, i shan't be lowering my expectations, because there is faith and i am still young(!), and i shan't be rebounding--i learned that this year. not a good thing to do.

a letter from mr. gullion

2007-06-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

"Ai, what a pleasure it's been having you in photo class. You trly are a special person. I've never crossed paths with a student whose spirit I could feel with such purity and wisdom."

"Insight:

"I understand myself to be a social ascetic. Rather than practice my domestication, I choose to suffer the arrows of indignant precept; the stares and glares that represent conditioned response. I choose to invent my condition through intentionality. There is much freedom in unlearning teachings that could our vision. What is seen under conditioned response, through conditioned sight, is rarely what it is. To see with claritya nd accuracy is to look at a picture upside down: to see everything over again for the first time.
"On the infinitely fine razors edge, nothing is ever the same. As it is, is as it was, as quickly as it is. there is no beginning, there is no end, there is only pure potential. And only action makes change,a nd change is all that is constant. Everything is everything, as nothing is everything, as everything is nothing. The constant flow of the universe is only interrupted by the spaces between light and dark. That is the space I seek when I medidtate. (Transcend).
"the spirit in me acknoledges the spirit in you. "Namaste" Alone we are local beings living our own dream. Together we are non local beings in the universal dream; and we are as we dream to be.
"this writing is from you to me, in that these words are yours from me: it's like seeing yourself throug the eyes of another.
"'Your are waht your deepest desire is. As is your desire so is your intention. As is your intention, so is your will. As is your will, so is your deed. As is your deed, so is your destiny.' 'Our destiny ultimately comes form the deepest level of desire and also form the deepest level of intention. The two are ultimately linked to each other.'
"you have been well and wisely nurtured. YOu radiate warmth and respect towards those who have taught you. YOu too are a teacher. 'Sat chit Ananda'

"With love and best wishes,
*signature*
Richard Gullion"

it was a nice letter until he chose to mention weird things and call me yesterday. i found that kind of weird and the intrusion was not expected and not welcomed, as it is highly unorthodox.

a moment of recognition

2007-04-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

i take pictures. and they look really beautiful
it's a wonderful feeling when people look at one of my pictures, and then name a place they think is the right place, but only to be corrected because they don't expect such a photo to turn out so well of scenery from a common place. i really pride myself in that. :)

for example, the picture of flickinger park, with the tree. B.Le said it was a really "peaceful," and a very calming picture. many people who've seen it commented on how well captured the picture is; with its blends of suburbia in the far off distance, separated by the loll of lush, green grass and the baseball pitch, trees with foliage offer shade to the bright, carefree sunday feel, nicely washed and toned in the black and white print. everyone thought that it was cataldi park, and not flickinger -- which they were mildly surprised when they were wrong; everyone always thinks flickinger has nothing to offer, so it was a shock when I was able to capture something beautiful (i'm probably sure they thought something along the lines of "how could I have over looked this?" or perhaps "where was this in flickinger?"). moments like these make me smile because I was able to reveal something they everyone had overlooked in a better light, and see their expressions. it makes me wiggle with excitement. moments like that makes a person feel good about him- or herself. and I very much did feel good, thanks very much. encouragements like that keep me going, and this might seem farfetched (at least, for someone like me, because I'm rather fickle), but photography might be a hobby that I'll practice for life.

what i've done

2007-02-23T20:52:00.000-08:00

I admit, that for the past days, I've been doing not much of anything. I was supposed to study for SATs, which I've done, to some extent, finish all my homework, which I'm nowhere near done, and keep to my schedule.

I thought I could follow the rules, but come friday; the excitement, the momentum, and the overall elation that came with the arrival of this 'winter break' has totally thrown me off course. I didn't keep to my schedule; that's something I can say that I'm ashamed of. It was supposed to be a strict, study-zone session, with a bit of free time, and exercising, to raise the endorphins. However, the problem: no factor of how lazy I am, no factor of Tet, no factor of how tired I was, and no factor of how I love my bed. the result? not very pleasing. I didn't have any endorphins to run, which meant that I didn't have any endorphins to help me focus on my studies, which resulted in a lot of slacking off and brain numbing activities.

I can honestly say that I suck. BUT I don't quite regret it; I'd probably would've done the same thing anyways. however, I've learnt a couple of things. with studies: be more -- much, much more -- efficient, and be more like A. Ly (really, you're an inspiration, not that I'd tell you that. you'd laugh at me and say I was "really corny" or something to help alleviate and distract yourself and others from your blushing anyhow), and P. Cheung (you annoy me at how diligent you are. but i'm proud of you, somewhat).

With that being said, I'm still procrastinating but I'll try to be better. starting...now

...okay, maybe another lifetime, I'm really not in the mood.

new picture:

2007-02-16T02:55:00.000-08:00

date: 02/12/07
location: dad's car; driving home from school; front passenger seat
camera: RAZR

DAD: why the hell do you always take pictures of yourself in my car?

well. it's before valentines day, could you really help me?
ps. 2+12 = 14 and 2(7) = 14.
this was purely coincidental, thanks very much.

signed: ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY

ps. I made a new xanga: www.xanga.com/aipod (it's pink--but tastefully done.)

predicate logic

2007-01-31T22:28:00.000-08:00

Question 1

In this question, assume the following predicate and constant symbols:

W(x,y) : x wrote y
L(x,y) : x is longer than y
N(x) : x is a novel
h : Hardy
a : Austen
j : Jude the Obscure
p : Pride and Predjudice

Given these specifications, which of the predicate logic formulas below represent the sentence, 'Hardy wrote a novel which is longer than any of Austen's' in predicate logic?
a. x (W(h,x) L(x,a)))
b. x y (L(x,y) W(h,y) W(a,x))
c. x y (W(h,x) W(a,y) L(x,y)))
d. x (N(x) W(h,x) y (N(y) W(a,y) L(x,y)))
e. x y (W(h,x) W(a,y) L(x,y))

i can solve that. :D (btw, it's d). it's one of my brother's hw problems...one out of 9 questions that i can do. xT

badminton

2007-01-29T18:28:00.000-08:00

confession time: I like being team manager for badminton, it's fun. :)

ai: apple ipod & valentines

2007-01-28T12:32:00.000-08:00

I think I'm in love with apple products...and the idea of being in love. oh well..<3

this is so cute. and that's what I would engrave. :)
well, either that or "with love, affections, and fervor. -aipod" I think "fervor," "ardent," and "dote" are wonderful words. they're incredibly powerful, but not often used. I don't know if that's because not a lot of people know it, or because they can use it effectively, but either way, I think I'll use it more often.
ditto with "smitten," although I have a feeling those that use it don't fully understand what smitten is. it's a shame, and I feel horrible when I correct it (love should never be corrected, but alas, if i correct it, then that means that it's not really love, is it?), especially if they're so foolhardy and obstinate on the idea that they are right.
anyways, for the illiterate, or for those who claim to be "romantic at hearts," please mind the definitions, and use them with care, because these words are very special to me, I think, and they should not be used wantonly, for excessiveness is the harbinger of the world of cliche, and i really don't like it when they're used unneccessarily. it's stupid. and I will be very cross, I imagine, and, despite good breeding, manners, and upbringing, I won't hesitate to question whether the user of such profound words fully understand their concepts and challenge them, probably angering (because they're embarassed, because in the end, I usually triumph, because they do not use the words precisely and correctly.--forms, rules, and boundaries are meant for those who understand it to break it. for those who are unaware of what they're doing, they shouldn't even attempt, because I will scorn them, unhesitatingly, for (this is my own quote, DO NOT RIP IT OFF, I WILL USE IT TO ITS FULLEST ABILITIES AGAINST YOU IF YOU DO) "I mean what I say and, I can say a lot of mean things.")

anyhow. enjoy these definitions. I thoroughly love them. :)

fer·vor (fûr'v?r) Pronunciation Key
n.
Great warmth and intensity of emotion. See Synonyms at passion.
Intense heat.
(SOURCE: Modern Language Association (MLA):
"fervor." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. 27 Jan. 2007. )

ar·dent [ahr-dnt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
1. having, expressive of, or characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent: an ardent vow; ardent love.
2. intensely devoted, eager, or enthusiastic; zealous: an ardent theatergoer. an ardent student of French history.
3. vehement; fierce: They were frightened by his ardent, burning eyes.
4. burning, fiery, or hot: the ardent core of a star.
(SOURCE: Modern Language Association (MLA):
"ardent." Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 27 Jan. 2007. )

dote (d?t) Pronunciation Key
intr.v. dot·ed, dot·ing, dotes
To show excessive fondness or love: parents who dote on their only child.
(SOURCE: Modern Language Association (MLA):
"dote." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. 27 Jan. 2007. )
i'm horribly fond of the second definition from word net, as well, which is: 2. shower with love; show excessive affection for; "Grandmother dotes on her the twins" (SOURCE: Modern Language Association (MLA):
"dote." WordNet® 2.1. Princeton University. 27 Jan. 2007. ) the idea of showering someone with love, and "excessive affection" is really...strong, and powerful, in my humble opinion. :)

smit·ten [smit-n] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
1. struck, as with a hard blow.
2. grievously or disastrously stricken or afflicted.
3. very much in love.
of course, i mean the third definition, unless someone is wittingly joking about the subject of course, which is very common when they're in love--everythign seems better, brighter, and rosier (from what i've heard). (SOURCE: Modern Language Association (MLA):
"smitten." Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 27 Jan. 2007. )

now, excuse me, i've homework to attend to

ps. yes, those are MY train of thoughts, please do not copy, for i will surely lower my opinion of you, subconsciously if not consciously, because really, this is individual thinking, if you've no opinion, no originality, no personality, then what are you? even robots and pc's have distinguishing characteristics of their own.

pps. yes, i think valentines is really the muse fo this source...that, and romantic british comedies like love actually, bridget jones 1 (i can't find bridget jones 2!), and pride and prejudice

dad and the jello incident(s)

2007-01-07T17:59:00.000-08:00

account one
dad: where are you going?
aipod: to get something eat..?
dad: oh okay
aipod: i think i want some jello!
dad: i bought some for you, so don't eat mine

...i know he means well. the jello he bought for me were very deliscious, but the ones that he made was just for him, because it took a long time to make and was supposed to help him...it's just the way he says it makes it seems mean. i have to remember that

account two
dad: why are you doing?
aipod: i'm trying to open the lid.
dad: why does it take you so long? khang didn't have a problem opening it.
aipod: ...
dad: ...
aipod: I GOT IT!

...he means well, i know. but that BURNED. D:

SIGNED: ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY

ps. i finally changed the layout of my xanga. :)

2007-01-06T16:26:00.000-08:00

dear blogspot,

my laptop's downstairs now, and it makes me sad. this means that i can't go on myspace or aim as frequently anymore.
I suppose this is a good thing? but it just makes me all the more rebellious. i don't think that's a good thing.

at the moment, i'm going to do my homework because tomorrow will be very tiring!

list of things to do
- shower
- etudier pour le francais
- finish script for l'histoire
- start study guides
- study for physics
- study for calc

SIGNED: ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY

ps. today was sort of eventful; I got to talk to this person who goes to oak grove. his name was travis; we had an interesting conversation, I guess. travis is the same grade as me, so he takes apush as well. I FOUND SOMEONE WHO SUFFERS JUST AS MUCH AS ME! I think that's great; there's also this other girl, I think her name's megan or something, who takes apush as well. she's a bit boring, though, but very nice. what point am I leading at? well, nothing in particular, just that I'm sort of glad I volunteer an meet people who have something in common with me as well. that's all.

my apush book is funny (series)

2007-01-04T01:00:00.000-08:00

from: Firsthand America: Chapter 15: Impeachment of Johnson: pg 493

"In August 1867 [Johnson] suspended Secretary of War Edwin M. Stanton, a close ally of the Radicals. There followed a comic opera in which Stanton barricaded himself in his office for two months while his successor periodically stood outside begging him to vacate."

isn't that a bit childish, for a grown man? really. that's a giggle-moment. :)

resolutions---MUST KEEP THEM!

2006-12-31T18:31:00.000-08:00

okay, so if i don't keep them, i won't go on myspace. there. i think that's decent?

1. excercise! target weight: **3 lbs. >:D
2. do homework
3. actually study, if i really need it (which i know i will)
4. BE NICER TO EVERYONE, regardless
5. wash dishes everyday! (it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs, it helps me lose 8 lbs....i just NEED TO REMEMBER THAT! ---that's what's going to help me keep the resolution)
6. make time for SATs!
7. make time for AP exams!
8. family > friends. remember that.

OKAY. there. 8 RESOLUTIONS.

something old i forgot to post.

2006-12-26T13:22:00.000-08:00

=) personally...I thought that it was rather nice of mr. warren to do so. =) so thanks, very much, even if you won't ever read this.

signed: ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY

ps. okay, so the pictures are in reverse, but that's why every picture I im.capt-ed has dates...so everyone can read it in chronological order!

it's a word!

2006-12-26T13:12:00.000-08:00

flibbertigibbet \FLIB-ur-tee-jib-it\, noun:
A silly, flighty, or scatterbrained person, especially a pert young woman with such qualities.

seriously. it IS a word. =)

and i can name a few flibbertigibbets. B)
there's:
a.truong;
a.ly;
d.tran;
myself;
and.......MORE xT but a.truong definitely takes the cake. B)

signed: ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY

ps. continuation of chatting until very late at night! =) but I think it's best if I avoid it. because I still must finish my study guides!!!! D:<
gosh, why 2 essays?! TT.TT

I failed

2006-12-21T15:04:00.000-08:00

dear blogger,

I failed my regiment. horribly

signed: ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY

today's to-do list

2006-12-20T11:09:00.000-08:00

the most important thing to establish is that I don't go on AIM today. it's too much of a distraction, although I will concede that really like some of those distractions and welcome them with open arms.

anyways, here's the list:
1. wash up
2. walk oliver with my iPod (I love my ipod.); I'm planning on walking him twice around the timber to hostetter to flickinger to sierra to 4 oaks route--btw: I really like walking down 4 oaks, it's really beautiful, and quiet.
3. go home. shower. and eat.
4. start homework; I'm determined to finish up to chapter 20!
5. go to the library; I have some SAT books, and I'm planning to take a crack at some excercises, at least!
6. not go. on. aim.
7. clean my room & bathroom; yeesh, it's messy, and my mom is displeased with how it doesn't reflect how ladylike I should be (speaking of which, i need to practice walking with books on; poster is not as well as it should be since summer.
8. sleep early? because I won't be on myspace today!

alright, that seems fine. eight is a good number. :) farewell now! (and wish me luck!)

signed: ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY. :)

in the crux of doing homework

2006-12-03T23:28:00.000-08:00

I just realized that my life sucks, and the only reason I'm not really complaining about it is because I'm scared that this isn't the lowest there is, and that conditions might degrade after I say something.

I suppose this is how the Jewish people felt when the Nazis started to harass them, and the reason why they didn't speak out against it was because they feared that the Nazis would do something worse than what they already have. (yes, it's a horrible analogy, I realize. The Jewish people have probably suffered and have been mistreated so badly that no one should talk badly of them ever again-- I know. but i'm being melodramatic here...)

sign: ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY

ps. the christmas list
1- Dad (scarf. handmade)
2- Mom (scarf. handmade)
3- Khang (--?w/itsreceipt)
4- J.Lam (gloves/mittens/wristwarmers)
5- P.Cheung (parasol,ithink)
6- N.Nguyen (--?)
- M.Tran-Phung
- A.Ly
- A.Wang
- A.Truong
- J.Malit
- P.Nuth
- S.Wong
- A.Trinh
- J.To
- K.Chau
- E.Nguyen
- A.Cheung
- R.Lee
- L.Dang
- D.Vu
- K.Wong

what would be nice to have:
- INSPI(RED) t-shirt
- ear muffs
- BR headband(s)
- BR scarf (cashmere<3)
- jackets/longsleeves (in black)
- hats
- mittens/gloves
- tights (dark gray)
- flats

PLANNED OUTING: avec J.Lam on 10/12/06

another interesting person

2006-12-03T19:24:00.000-08:00

AIM IM with A.Hsieh says:.
6:59 PM
A.Hsieh says:: oui, c'est la vie
Iloveyouplatonically says: Auto-reply: iloveyouplatonically.blogspot.com
A.Hsieh says:: really, who gives anymore? blowing off homework. leave a message.
A.Hsieh says:: because what else can you really do?
A.Hsieh says:: :]
A.Hsieh says:: je sais pas.
A.Hsieh says:: I think it's amusing how you said emoticons convey weak writing when you spelled "weak" wrong. )-/
A.Hsieh says:: Look at me use emoticons!
A.Hsieh says:: )-/
A.Hsieh says::
A.Hsieh says:: @_@
A.Hsieh says:: You know you want to.
A.Hsieh says:: And yet -- you can't.
7:10 PM
Iloveyouplatonically says: hmmm?
Iloveyouplatonically says: week writing?
Iloveyouplatonically says: oh pardon-moi
Iloveyouplatonically says: Auto-reply: iloveyouplatonically.blogspot.com
A.Hsieh says:: of courseeee
Iloveyouplatonically says: i didn't think anyone would read that far, you'll have to excuse me inadequacies.
A.Hsieh says:: but of course
A.Hsieh says:: wait no
A.Hsieh says:: i can't let you do that miss professional
A.Hsieh says:: as a professional you should assume that everyone reads everything
A.Hsieh says:: >O
A.Hsieh says:: what if you get sued because you don't think everyone will read?
A.Hsieh says:: YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE MONEY
Iloveyouplatonically says: okay fine
A.Hsieh says:: hooray!
A.Hsieh says:: i win.
Iloveyouplatonically says: lesson learned Andrew Hsieh
Iloveyouplatonically says: anyways
Iloveyouplatonically says: since you're here
Iloveyouplatonically says: this will be my new sn starting jan 1
Iloveyouplatonically says: iloveyoualmost
Iloveyouplatonically says:
Iloveyouplatonically says: it would've corresponded with my blogspot
Iloveyouplatonically says: but then "iloveyouplatonically" was over the word limit
Iloveyouplatonically says: Auto-reply: iloveyouplatonically.blogspot.com
Iloveyouplatonically says: which seems horribly stupid, because what if you had a really long name?
A.Hsieh says:: like what?
Iloveyouplatonically says: marie antoinette's real name for example
Iloveyouplatonically says: it's "maria antonia josefa...."
Iloveyouplatonically says: it goes on.
A.Hsieh says:: but did her friends say "Oh look, it's Maria Antonia Josefa Johanna von Habsburg-Lothringen!" every time Ms. Antoinette appeared?
A.Hsieh says:: no
A.Hsieh says:: they just said
A.Hsieh says:: HI QUEEN OF FRANCE
A.Hsieh says:: so her screenname would be QueenOfFrance
A.Hsieh says:: or even
A.Hsieh says:: MarieAntoinette
Iloveyouplatonically says: well yes
A.Hsieh says:: or rUmYgullotine
Iloveyouplatonically says: but that wouldn't be her TRUE name now would it?
Iloveyouplatonically says: hahha
Iloveyouplatonically says: i'll forgive your misspell of "guillotine"
7:20 PM
Iloveyouplatonically says:
Iloveyouplatonically says: but anyways andrew i'm horribly busy
Iloveyouplatonically says: i have a timeline project
Iloveyouplatonically says: and my partners are not doing anything
Iloveyouplatonically says: and my study guide
Iloveyouplatonically says: and that horrid calculus
Iloveyouplatonically says:
Iloveyouplatonically says: Auto-reply: iloveyouplatonically.blogspot.com
A.Hsieh says:: calc is easy
A.Hsieh says:: and for the record it wasn't my misspel
A.Hsieh says:: *misspelling
A.Hsieh says:: she's french
A.Hsieh says:: remember that
A.Hsieh says:: :]
Iloveyouplatonically says: limit of "ai(calc)(apush^sg)(projects)(physics)/(time)" as ai approaches end of schoolyear = DNE
Iloveyouplatonically says: if you insist
A.Hsieh says:: )-/\
Iloveyouplatonically says: i've no clue waht that is
Iloveyouplatonically says: yet it's still in my profile
A.Hsieh says:: )-/ is a DANCING MA

a person that makes me laugh

2006-12-03T18:19:00.000-08:00

reading your entries make me laugh. not to sound mean, but I love how you try to incorporate the "dry humour" that you so fondly love. really, it's cute. and I'm glad you're one of my closer friends.

and now we go back to doing homework
(I think I broke one of my manifestos already.)
ah well, "c'est la vie," n'est-ce pas?

absolutely interminable

2006-12-03T14:00:00.000-08:00

I'm quite convinced that it takes forever to upload one photo up on this blogspot. it's quite infuriating. why does it take so long?

...things like this make me realize that patience is a virtue that easily comes, and easily goes, depending on one's time, and hurry.

the world of the day
unguent \UNG-gwuhnt\, noun:
a salve for sores, burns, or the like; an ointment.

after publicly flogged, Namehere felt her whole body burning under the condescending glances by her fellow peers; unlike the burns victims, however, Namehere did not have any unguent to sooth and alleviate.

signed: ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY

another start

2006-12-02T19:02:00.000-08:00

I wonder what is it about the need for change, for something new...

why is it that we, human beings, are unable to settle? why must there always be need for change? I thought I was content with my previous blog, xanga.com/kokoakitty. yet I am here, starting this blogger. I wonder if it was a mistake, or an impulse, like that of livejournal. (---no offense to you LJ-ers, but was there ever a need to abandon your old xanga, and delete it? I was just wondering...)

so why do we start new things, only to abandon it for something that comes along later in life that's better? why can't we just settle?
...I don't know the answer to this one, either. heh. :) but this time, in this blog, I promise to not abandon you, like i did my LJ. and true to my promise, I won't abandon my old xanga account either. like kokoakittykat, it's been with me for far too long, and I love it far too much. it has settle, become a routine, a daily, a constant like that of nine point eight meters per second* that I find myself gravitating towards it no matter what...

as this is a new start, I'm going to make some decisions: (a declaration, a format, a constitution of the styles of this blog, if you will. and i will make it a constant--because constants are something i'm craving and in need of.)
number one: I will type numbers in the form of words if those numbers are less than 100. (100 does not apply numbers less than one hundred would be "ninety-nine", "sixty-seven", or "two". don't ask why, I won't have an answer for you anyways, this is just purely based on whim.)

number two: beginnings of sentences, as you've noticed, I'm sure, will not be capitalized. only proper names, and I's. again, this is based on whim as well! :)

number three: I will try to not use emoticons. emoticons can't really express myself anyways, and besides...I think I'm getting too used to putting faces, which professionals connotate with week, and immature writing. good writing should, say professionals, do not need emoticons to show how the writer is feeling. (yes, I'm sure that this might make things harder for others to tell, but I'm sure it'll be something that I can improve on, n'est-ce pas?)

number four: bolding texts is something that won't be seen commonly...unless there's absolute need for it. (can you tell, I'm putting in loopholes so my constitution can't come back to bite me in the ass! ...pardon the rude language)
number five: any foreign language will be italicized. just like a lot of others things will be italicized; just to embellish and emphasize it...

number six: I'll try to tone down the levels of profanity as well. not to be vain, but I think using profanity is really...deplorable, inexorable. besides...I think I'm creative and clever enough to use other words to substitute for the curse words. (I've noticed that there aren't a lot of of swear words in the Vietnamese dictionary...it's kind of amusing actually, we don't curse, we just talk badly about each other behind his or her back. really, which is the lesser evil?)

number seven: since I need to learn my SAT words, I need to use the "word of the day" that Dictionary.com sends to me. henceforth, everyday, there will be one post (albeit the length will vary depending on time constraints) each day with my "wordddd."

number eight: postings will be between the time I finish all my important or necessary assignments and the time I got to bed.

number nine: friends are welcome to comment, strangers are welcome to comment (although be forewarned, I won't take kindly to those that might oppose me; in fact, I may be a bit offended..! but I welcome stranger's comments nonetheless), strangers are also welcome to be my friend.

number ten: as with everything, I've decided that these rules may be subject to change, and that there may be amendments which can be added to this list, this constitution, this declaration...this manifesto. I'll also end every entry with "signed: I LOVEYOU PLATONICALLY"

signed: ILOVEYOUPLATONICALLY.

*nine point eight meters per second: gravity, a constant to that of earth; something i'm so used to that it messes me up in physics sometimes because i always assume that it is the acceleration of everything sometimes, even though it is not. because just because it is a constant to me does not make it a constant to everyone else...especially martians...or other sorts of aliens
(NOTE:if you truly understand what I'm saying: "hello, would you like to be my friend?")